I've always heard the best things in life are those that scare you the most. I'd like to say I've done pretty well with my CES diagnosis. Most days, I'm able to cover up my inside battles. Honestly, a lot of people would never know about my diagnosis, because I don't wear it on my sleeve. The sad part is, I'm often embarrassed by the judgmental stares of people wondering why I am limping or wobbling. It's something that even after two years, has such a profound effect on me.
This upcoming week is my birthday. So, when I decided to celebrate my birthday, I decided to celebrate my independence from CES too. Killing two birds with one stone, if you will. Pushing away the anxiety of what could happen, and just living for the moment! I planned a trip.
Not just any trip; this trip would involve traveling, walking, interacting, and most of all pushing me out of my comfort zone! For one day, I threw away anxiety, and off to Nashville we went!
Being a Tennessee native, Nashville was just a hop, skip, and jump away; around a three-hour car ride. We started off the day with the best doughnuts this side of the Mississippi! For the first time since CES, I had to walk a good half mile to get to our destination.
My legs were sore and about give out by the time we got there, but those scrumptious little morsels were all worth it!
We then went to a huge mural, dedicated to what lifts you up. This mural is made up of 18 foot wings, and is such a sight to be seen! I was fighting back tears, as we walked up to it, and got my picture made. Because for the first time in a long time, it wasn't my parents, friends, medicines, doctors, support groups lifting me up, it was myself. Pushing myself beyond my limitations, and lifting myself out of the hold that CES had on me.
We spent the rest of the day eating yummy foods, walking around the mall, and enjoying the scenery. No one stared. No one asked me how I was doing. No one asked how my back was. It was refreshing to explore a place where no one knew CES existed in my life. I was Haylee. Not Haylee with CES, just simply.....Haylee.
You see, honestly, there isn't a whole lot to be scared of. We are fighters, we've already experienced one of the scariest parts of our life, so why should we sweat the small stuff? I've learned from this trip that life is short. I've experienced a lot in the 28 years I've lived in earth, but not enough! I'm certainly not going to let CES have control over that! Life is worth living! The happy moments, the sad moments, and even the scary ones; it’s worth it!
So, I challenge you today. Take some time this week, and push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Invite a friend over, if you can't get out, go. Go out to eat with family, take a mini vacation, go for a walk or roll down the street. Experience something that you have wanted to do and told yourself you couldn’t. Hey, even a trip to the grocery store can suffice. I challenge you to push yourself! Push yourself beyond yourself perceived limits, banish anxiety, throw away your fear. LIVE AGAIN!